pastor was talking about the way that we as people are more content to connect over small talk than to really discuss the guts of our lives...our faith, our beliefs, and that if we really would just speak to one another about the good news and the miracles that He has worked in our lives, it would be not only easier to find camaraderie amongst each other, but it would not feel so difficult to believe.
the things that occurred in my life during college, medical school, and the first part of residency scared the absolute optimist in me. i was an eternal optimist before all of that. i allowed that part of me to be hidden, shadowed, left in secret and shame, because of the ways that i felt. grief for things lost. guilt for things said/done or not said/not done. and an overwhelming responsibility that somehow, someway all of this was my fault. didn't matter what it was...it was my fault. i'm sorry became the most common words to come from my mouth. most times, i didn't even know what it was i was apologizing for.