Monday, September 10, 2012
the best offense is a good defense
so, i realize that once a person has kids, or gets married, or moves into a new house, or starts a new career, there are bound to be scores of advice given from all corners of the earth.
"well when my daughter was born...."
"when we moved into our new house...."
"when i first started being a working mom...."
"when we got married, we...."
and the truth is, i thought i was totally equipped to handle all of this. take it all with a grain of salt, i told myself. and tuck back the really great advice for future reference. and keep track of things that were helpful for me. and try not to push my advice on anyone else unless they ask. or at least preface it when i offer it with, "this is only my opinion, so feel free to ignore it, but..."
i never really steeled myself for having to defend my decisions, though. to have to stand up to criticism. unwanted advice i can let roll off my back. and at least if advice is offered, there is the opportunity there to accept and learn from it. but when i'm criticized for choices i've made or ignored, my hackles go up and i immediately go on the defensive.
the best offense is a good defense, right? well, i suppose in order to be aggressive with the raising of my family/preservation of my marriage/furthering of my career, i'd better get my defensive line in order.
i'm not perfect. i make mistakes constantly. if i can make it through a day without screwing someone or something up too badly, i count that in the win slot. there isn't any such thing as a perfect person, or a perfect mother or wife, but i strive to be the best i can. some days i end up just above sucking, and those days are the days that drain me.
but i'm not sure where it is that anyone has a right to criticize the manner in which i live my life. i try not to criticize others if i can help it. i don't bag on them for not doing certain things, or for making certain choices. and there are days that i pray for bedtime....for the kids, or me, i'm not always sure which. and there are other days that i don't want the day to end, ever. there are days that the kids just grate on every nerve ending in my body, and there are days where i'd pick them up and put them in my pocket and carry them with me for the whole day. there are more days than not that i'm so happy that things are the way they are, and only a few days where i wish i was better, more involved, more patient, more constructive, more present.
regardless of the way i feel on an ever-changing basis, it's my life....the life that the Big Guy Upstairs has blessed me with. and as long as He and i are good, i can't see where anyone has the right to stand in judgment of me. to try to penetrate my defensive line and get to the core of my team, my huddle. and as far as i can say, no one is going to break that down. that line may get battered at times, and occasionally it may miss a block, but overall, that defensive line is going to defend what i've got, what the Big Guy and hubs and i have built.