wife, mother, and physician. the background story is long and tedious, but at the heart of all that i am is my faith. my faith has been tested, by me, a few times in the past, but it's always been there. i've finally gotten to a point where i've accepted not only my faith, but myself. my strengths, my weaknesses, my idiosyncracies.
i'm at a lost, kind of, as to how to start my blog. but i want this to be a place where i can share my experiences...maybe even offer a few insights about medicine, about my family, and about how i deal on a daily basis with things that i encounter...which i'm sure are not all that different than other mothers or christian women. so i guess i'll just start with some basics.
i was born the oldest of two girls to two working class parents that loved me without end. my dad worked in a factory for my entire life and ended up retiring at the age of 47 or so.
i lost my mom to lou gehrig's disease when i was 25. i loved my mom, and still do. she was my best friend. i still struggle to find friends that can live up to the candle i hold for her. she didn't get to see me married, or pregnant, or as a mother, or as a wife, or as a physician. she didn't get to be there when i graduated, or when i wore my wedding dress. i rely on descriptions and stories told by my family, and i try to pass on to my children what a neat, yet imperfect person she was. i hope that i make her proud.
my dad has always been my greatest cheerleader, and we are extremely close. i can talk to him about anything, and though we don't talk as much as i would like simply due to scheduling issues, i love him to this day and still call him daddy.
my husband, jay, and i have known each other almost our whole lives. i met him in the first grade, went to grade school, junior high, and high school with him. he comes from a slightly different walk of life than i do, but we both were raised as working class kids and we hold many of the same ideals about work-ethic, child-rearing, etc.
he and i have been together as a couple for nine years, as i'm writing this. we're getting ready to celebrate our 10th christmas together. we have had our tough times, especially in the year that i was 25. that's when our daughter was conceived. our daughter, piper, is not my blood daughter, and this was also the time that my mother was dying. there was a lot of therapy that occurred, and i went through a period of self-medication. right or wrong, it made me who i am today. i don't carry a torch for that time, and i also wouldn't change it...because if not for those things, i wouldn't have piper.
our daughter piper is one of the most spirited individuals i've ever met. she teaches me on a daily basis to be patient, to laugh, to curb my anger, and to show my love. she's one of the best things that ever happened to me.
our son dade is one of the funniest people i know. he is all boy, and he is kind-hearted and smart and such a neat individual.
i move about 900 mph, and i'm not happy unless i have 10 things going on at once with my hair on fire. to that end, i can become irritable and agitated and i take my anxiety out on those around me. i am medicated to curb this, and i gain insight on this on a daily basis. i don't want my husband or my kids to remember me as the "mommy that yelled all the time." i struggle with this, but i guess that's the way the Lord made me. i'm human. what can i say?
i have the most beautiful sister in the world, and she has recently married what i believe is her soul-mate. because my dad has remarried, i also have the most fabulous stepmom, and three stepbrothers that pick on me like i'm their own. and i love that.
my in-laws are a very unique group of individuals. i will likely talk about them frequently, as they make me laugh and remind me that it takes every kind of individual to show me life's and the Lord's possibilities.
i know that i'm incredibly blessed. and i thank God every day. i am Lutheran...i finally feel i have found a church that i've been looking for my entire life. i belong to a church named emanuel lutheran church, part of the missouri synod. my church strengthens my faith, answers my questions, and makes me ask even more questions. i thirst for knowledge in my faith. my daughter has the same thirst for knowledge, in faith and in school, that i always possessed.
i guess, in all, i'm a unique individual that has a lot of the same attributes as anyone else. like i said before, i'm human.