Sunday, December 4, 2011

just like mom

my shower is my sanctuary. if you're a parent, you know. sometimes the only quiet time you have is those five or ten (or, in my case 20) minutes of shower time. i do a lot of my thinking in the shower. most of the time, at 530am, it doesn't make a lot of sense. but on occasion, when i hit the shower in the mid morning after my cup of coffee, it does make sense.

on my mind yesterday was a patient of mine. S is a patient of mine in her fifties that has stage 4 cancer. she has tried chemo, surgery, etc, and despite our hope for remission, it evaded her. i went to see her at her home last week. she is on hospice.

just like mom was.

she laid there, in her hospital bed, in her living room, and smiled. dog on her lap. and smiled.


just like mom did.

i struggled to keep a chipper attitude. we discussed things very candidly. her husband and two sisters were there. thankfully, every one of them is on the same page. there are to be no heroic measures.

she told me she loved me.

just like mom did.

we laughed. we cried. and i tried to hold it all together. i gave them my cell phone number. that way they could call, anytime, without being transferred to the on call physician. i kissed her forehead, hugged her husband, and walked to my car in the rain. i drove away, honked twice, and cried the entire way back to the office.

just like i did, the last time i left mom's apartment.

why did i choose this profession? i believe God is teaching me something. why is S still alive? because i believe she is teaching me something.

just like mom did.


  1. This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this little piece of your mom.

  2. You have such a big heart, Becca. I have seen a lot of doctors in my lifetime, but when I first met you, I knew I wouldn’t ever see another. You have such a way with people. You make everyone feel so at ease when they are sick, or going through a tough time. We know you sincerely do care. You have made such an impact in not only my life, but in all your patient’s lives as well. We are truly blessed to have you. Believe it or not, you teach us all a little something too. I think your mom is very proud of the person you have become.

  3. Painfully beautiful! I so wish we still lived in the area. You would without a doubt, be my physician. Having said that, I am very grateful that I am able to call you friend. I do believe that God chose you to be a physician for a reason. You are kind, you are compassionate, you truly care about the person and not just the disease. You care more about the person than the money. All of that is evident in the way you talk, carry yourself with your patients. I have seen it has a nurse as I watched you with patients in the patients room and I have witnessed as a person in need of a doctors care and advice. Keep doing what you are doing. You are touching more lives than you know.