sleep

No day is so bad, it can't be fixed with a nap. --Carrie Snow

i love to sleep. seriously. sleeping is one of my favorite things to do. if i could pick between sleeping and anything else, i'd almost always pick sleeping.

almost.

i crave sleep to the point that i can taste it. it tastes something like a juicy, thick cheeseburger with tomatoes, lettuce and mayo...all rich and warm and juicy. or maybe like a thick chocolate milkshake with whipped cream on top.

my days off almost always revolve around napping. it's like my guilty pleasure. some people gamble, some watch reality tv...i sleep. seriously. i am already planning for the fact that tomorrow, it will be saturday, which means that i can nap.

i napped twice yesterday...and i was at work!

it's not that i'm fatigued, although at times that is the case (usually if i've done a long shift or something)...and it's not that i'm avoiding anything in life. i think i may actually be addicted to sleep. it's like a drug. i have it down to a science for my body...20 minutes does wonders, as does an hour and a half (time for a full REM cycle), but 2.5 hours makes me feel crappy.

so, if i'm so addicted to sleep, why is it that i can't get myself in bed before 11pm, knowing that i have to get up at 530 every morning?

i have a really difficult time sitting still. if i'm sitting still for more than ten minutes, i'm either doing something like playing on pinterest or working on my cross stitch (both of which make me magically motionless). if i am not doing either of those things, i'm like a fart in a skillet...constantly moving, cleaning, doing something, running after the kids. so...when i have a few minutes when i'm not doing those things (which has really been helped by the fact that Hubs stays home during the day and does a fabulous job keeping the house in check), then i decide to work on my cross stitch projects or play on pinterest. i suppose i feel like that's my time to be selfish by having "me" time. but that time goes so quickly! and before i know it, it's eleven oclock and i'm playing the oh-my-goodness-i-have-to-be-up-in-six-hours game. which makes it so difficult to fall asleep.

sleep and i have a great relationship, but it's feeling like a torrid affair. can't i just have back all those times when, as a child, i resisted naps? and wwwhhhhhyyyyyy do my children fight going to sleep so much?!? sleep is the best thing in the whole world!

i used to have a really hard time falling asleep...i used to lay in bed and make lists, plan, worry. now, as the old saying goes, instead of counting sheep, i talk to the Shepherd. i feel slightly guilty, because i almost always fall asleep in the middle of my prayers. but it's a comfort thing. i think He gets it.

so for now, for the rest of the day, i will stay in the land of the waking. but tomorrow...i will sleep.